


Crazy Document

by PeopleInThatBackRoom (orphan_account)



Series: The Crazy Document Series [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Crack Fic, Crack Pairings, EngGer, Hetalia, Mokuba - Freeform, Oreos, Other, PanGiri, Pokemon - Freeform, Spamerica, Spongepants, Superman - Freeform, YGOTAS References, Yaoi, craziness, trading cards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2015-01-27
Packaged: 2018-03-09 07:01:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3240650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/PeopleInThatBackRoom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a writer has 'free time', they come up with none other than...crack. XD</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crazy Document

Once there was a ninja who was named Kiku. Kiku had a friend named Antonio who was from the hood. One day an evil British man came from mars and started to rape all the ukes.

"Hey! Get back here, you fucking limey! You have my bitches!" Antonio proceeded to cuss out the Brit who was flying back to his planet with all the ukes and bitches in the world.

"Everything wirr be ok Antonio, but we must hurry if we are going to get back arr the ukes and the bitches from the asshore who took them." Kiku said.

So they shot Batman and took the Batmobile, and after a five minute tea break; they finally reached the nearest Prussian. The Prussian's name was Gilbert. He charged a lower fee than Han Solo, to fly them to the British wanker's lair.

"Wait! before i fly you guys to the British bitch's lair I must get my Austrian! Oh Roddy!" called Gilbert, and in a flash Roderich the Austrian appeared and started making out with the Prussian.

"My uke, what were you doing before you called me here?" Roderich questioned his Prussian.

"Um, I was about to bring these two master jedi knights to the British bitch's lair so they could get back all the ukes and the bitches the British dumnkopf took, Roddy." Gilbert explained.

"If your a uke how come the British asshore didn't snatch you up?" asked Kiku..

"Um, Roddy was protecting me." answered the Prussian.

"Amigo do you think we could go already and save the bitches and the ukes?" asked the impatient Spaniard.

"Ok, here we go!"

The Prussian pushed a button and they flew into hyper-speed! They passed the planet of  **OMG THAT'S SOOOOO KAWAII**  and the planet of  **Kinky BUTTSEX**. After twenty minutes they finally reached the planet of Asia. Upon entering the planet there was a sign that said

**Welcome to Asia, home of the evil British guy and his lair.**

"Wow! Those people are huge snitches!" the Prussian yelled. So they kept following the signs that pointed to the British guy's lair.

+++

_Meanwhile in the evil Brit's lair_

Ring, ring, ring!

Arthur was getting very frusterated with the absence of his slave.

"Alfred you bloody git! Where my tea! "

Alfred slowly walked to Arthur, fear gripping Alfred's heart. Alfred shit his pants and gave the Evil British Guy's his Canadian Cum Tea. With his BIG MOUTH the Evil British Guy drunk all the Cum Tea, while stuffing oreos into his mouth.

"You're going to get fat if you keep eating all those oreos." Jeered one of bitches he captured.

"SHUT UP YOU PUSSY!"

"Make me, FATSO!"

"I am not fat!"

"Are you sure about that?" the bitch asked mockingly.

"ALFRED! Hand me a mirror!" Alfred gave Arthur a mirror and Arthur chucked it at the bitch, who was Immediately knocked out.

"HA! Take that you bloody fucking git!" the evil British guy yelled, to the bitch. Even though the bitch couldn't exactly,  _hear_  him.

"Alfred, you bloody git! Get me a pussy-ass to fuck!" Arthur yelled. So Alfred ran to the SECRET LAB POLE, fucking tripped himself and fell down the hole.

"Ow!" Alfred yelled as he hit the floor. He dragged himself to the tied up pile of captured ukes and bitches..

"ONE OF YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING GO UPSTAIRS AND PLEASE MY FUCKING ASSHOLE OF A MASTER RIGHT NOW!" Alfred yelled...

"What's your problem man?" asked one of the captured ukes. Alfred started to cry.

"N-n-no one e-e-ever l-listens t-to me s-s-so hicup!I t-t-t-thought i'd t-t-take charge f-f-for-once-hicup!"

"ALFRED! YOU BLOODY GIT! WHERE'S THE HOE I'M GOING TO FUCK!" Arthur shouted from upstairs.

"It's c-c-coming right away s-s-sir," Alfred replied.

"WELL IT BETTER COME NOW OR YOUR GOING TO BE THE HOE WHO GETS FUCKED!" The Evil British Guy warned...

"Y-y-yes s-sir.." So Alfred picked up a sleeping guy (the guy was Greek, but he wasn't a uke, mind you) and carried him up the stairs that just appeared out of nowhere.

"Uh..um where am I?"asked the sleeping guy, who was awoken from the feeling of The British Guy's cock thrusting in and out of his asshole.

"Invader Zim!" cried the guy as The British Guy continued pounding his ass. Alfred hid in the corner and looked at his POKA-MON TRAIT-TAING CAI-ARDS.

"Poka poka, you are SO FREAKIN' KAWAII." Alfred said, afterwards trying to make out with the card, who had its own tongue and stuck it in Alfred's mouth, causing them to involve in some crazy MOUTH SEX, which The Evil British Guy became jealous of.

"You blasted Poka poka! Get away from my servant!" The Evil British Guy yelled, throwing oreos at the card while still fucking the Greek guy, who was now moaning out "Oh Pablo! You fatass donkey! Fuck me harder!" much to Superman's surprise.

"You son of a Belarus!" Superman muttered as he painted his nails like THE RAINBOW of ANIME-NESS. At that very second, Antonio, Kiku, that Prussian named Gilbert, his boyfriend Roderich and SPONGE PANTS, came crashing through the celling. They were all holding candy breasts (Ukrainian size, if anyone wanted to know ;) and pointing them at The Evil British Guy, who was still fucking that Greek guy, that was now falling asleep again.

"You motherfucker! Give me back all my ukes, bitches, tramps, beggers, friends and KFC!" yelled Antonio, who was stepping closer to SPONGE PANTS. The Evil British Guy mumbled a retort, though no one could understand it because he was eating more oreo-like-ston-I mean scones! At that moment, Alfred jumped out the box (that was in the corner he was sitting in, for some reason) and jumped on Antonio's back, snuggling up to him as if the Spaniard was a PILLOW PET.

"Tonio! You finally came back for me!" shouted Alfred, who then kissed Antonio on the cheek, causing The Evil British Guy to pout.

"Why shouwd I?" The Evil British Guy asked in a babish voice.

"Because, you can't fucking stear!" Kiku yelled. The Evil British then broke down crying —and yes, he was still fucking that Greek guy.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I-i just wanted to h-have some kinky s-sex with s-someone." The Evil British Guy whimpered. That Prussian named Gilbert, contemplated on what The Evil British Guy —who wasn't so evil— said and got an idea.

"Hey! I know how to solve your problem!" the Prussian yelled, making The not-so-evil British guy look up at him.

"You do?" the Brit asked.

"Fuck yeah! My bruder Ludwig is a really kinky-sex-liking person! Don't be fooled by how he looks like, 'cause he a big fucking uke!" Gilbert said, laughing afterwards. He snapped his fingers and his younger brother Ludwig appeared out of SPONGE PANTS' WALLET, looking quite appealing to the PERVERTED Brit.

"Oh, fuck yes.." Ludwig and the Brit said in unison, running into one of the many rooms the Brit had from joining the Dark Side —BTW: we have cookies, so fuck you! Gilbert and his Austrian took out and flew away to the island of AusPru and ate hotdogs, Kiku picked up the sleeping Greek and continued fucking him, SPONGE PANTS went back to the SETO KAIBA HQ to visit Mokuba —shut up Mokuba!— the ukes and bitches were freed, and Antonio and Alfred mugged Tinker Bell, took her pixie dust and flew off into the sunset, where they saw the Uke Germany Community and all its awesome!

PRUSSIA IS STILL A COUNTRY, DAMNIT!

_Ve, fin..._

**Author's Note:**

> Sam-Chan: That was a lot of nonsense... Por favor, review, and tell me what you think of the craziness I've made. Please?


End file.
